Someone said

Someone said "You have got a lot of patience. If I were you I would have broken down". Someone else said "You are not the person you used to be. You were such a fighter. You are losing yourself. You need to pick yourself up".

Someone said "What would I do without you". Someone else said "What are you doing here".

Someone said "You are so caring". Someone else said " Why do you poke your nose around".

Someone said "I know what you are going through. I understand". Someone else said "You need to get used to it. Stop bickering".

Words.... one should always be careful with them. They can make or break things. they can be used for motivation or humiliation. How you wish to use them decides their effect.

There are times, when you feel numb. Utterly hopelessly numb. To an extent that you don't know  what's next. At such times the kind words of your loved ones come to your rescue. Sometimes in the form of sweet praise and sometimes in a tough tone.

What do you do when you are at the receiving end of the words. Sweet and kind words are always welcome. They make your day. But what about those distasteful harsh words that come your way. Sadly they get etched on our minds. Such deeply are they etched that whenever you look back to them you relive the pain. Sad but true.

But they say only when we let go of the pain, we can be at peace. No doubt its true.But is it possible. What should one prioritize... Peace of mind or the pain they have been through. If everyone would prefer peace of mind, then people could hurt someone and get away with easily. Is that right? If everyone holds on to pain and hurt, then where would one get hope from. That's not right either.

What do I do. Frankly speaking.. there is no hard and fast rule. Sometimes I feel like letting go off and sometimes I am just not ready to part with the hurt. Maybe the hurt is a reminder of how cold people can be. I know maybe my views would change with time. That's life.

The real challenge, is to stay grounded. No matter what words come your way, you should not let them deviate you from the reality. There may be times when there would be no words from anyone. In such times, give yourself the much needed honest pep talk. After all, who would be a better judge than you yourself. The key is.. be honest with yourself.

The parallel universe

      I love my parallel universe. Since childhood I have loved travelling there. Don't get me wrong guys. The parallel universe I am talking about is books.  Nowadays I don't read much, But trust me.. reading a book is no less than travelling or rather time travelling. May be some day time travel would be a reality, till then books would suffice.

     As a kid I used to be crazy about reading story books. My brother used to go to an ICSE school. The best part about the ICSE board is their language books. For each class there used to be at least 2-3 books for literature. So, when my brother's books set used to arrive home. I literally used to pounce on them. I would sift through the set and get hold of my targets. One at a time. Once in my hand, I would just immerse myself in the book. I don't know where am i sitting; whether am I hungry. It would feel like there is nothing around me. Just leave me alone in this parallel universe.

     As I grew old, the content I read changed. I moved on from short stories and comics to full fledged novels. Started reading Hindi and later on Marathi as well. Reading a novel is an interesting experience. It is a journey. Journey in the sense that you start with the characters, you bond with them... progress with them. Its like you are being the witness of all those character's lives. On a number of occasions, I have cried like anything; while reading a novel. It gets so intense at times. All credit to the awesome writers that they captivate the readers so successfully.

    It's not just the characters that are captivating but also the time and geography. Imagine you are reading something set in the Victorian era in a distant country. You not only understand your characters but also come to know about the social structure of that time and the interdependence of all the factors. That is why reading is considered as a travel beyond time. One moment you are at the Baker's street standing beside Sherlock Holmes and the other moment you realize that you are on your bed at home.

     There came a time when I thought I am not able to read much until I got hold of  "A tale of 2 cities". Well I got this book in my college library and was suppose to return it in 2 weeks time. But due to assignments and stuff was not able to read much. Just before the day of returning the book, I decided I am not going to return it without reading. So there I was... Done with the day's chorus, I started reading it and kept reading on. It was 4 in the morning when I finally finished reading the book. I was happy that I still had that drive for reading.

   Till date this novel is my all time favorite. Sydney Carton made me weep like anything. I could write an entire blog post about this novel. But some other day. If you regularly read books you would know that you get a hangover once you finish reading a book which would typically last for 2-3 days. This duration may vary as per the genre of book and how well you connected to it. For me reading novels/books is not a task.. it is something I love to do, something I am never tired of, something for which I could wake up early. Something which tells me that no matter what is happening in the routine, there is one thing which still drives me nuts. I think I have inherited this passion for reading from my Mom and Grandma. They could really give a tough competition to anyone. Seeing them read is a treat for me. It's like a reminder, this is where it comes from. It's all in the genes.

    While in high school, we had a book in Hindi by the name "Jwalamukhi k phool". I just opened the book and went through few lines and found it boring, so kept it aside. One fine day I thought of giving it a shot and started reading. I must have started reading in the afternoon. To my surprise, the book turned out to be really interesting and I was simply not ready to keep down the book. I was called for having dinner which I just gulped down. I was told to sleep but still I was not ready to keep the book down. Only when I finished it did i go to sleep.

        I really felt guilty for judging the book by it's cover or in this case by it's title. That is why they say never judge a book by it's cover. This makes me realize that we are all guilty of this crime. We tend to be judgemental. Be it books or people. Books are judged by their cover and people on various never ending parameters. We tend to form opinions about people and hence may miss out on having amazing interactions. So, if you want to read good books and build healthy relationships with people; don't go by their appearances, look beyond the cover. Maybe something interesting awaits you.

Listen... I want to say something

   In the journey of life we come across many people and subconsciously we keep picking our favorite people throughout the way. These people could be anyone like a sibling, a close friend, a colleague, simply anyone. You just strike a chord with someone and they get added to your list of my people.

   A very essential milestone of any relationship is the part where two people are comfortable enough to confide in each other, not out of obligation but just because they want to. So what are the criteria for being an ideal confidante. When do we get the feeling that yes..,I can talk to this person. When it comes to me, I confide in people who are willing to listen to me, understand me. No matter if they differ with my opinions or feelings but their love and concern for me matters. Most importantly the person should not be judgmental. There have been times when I have wanted to share a specific thing with a specific person just because I know that this specific person will understand what I want to say or they know me so well that they are able to read in between the lines.

   Luckily for me, I have a pretty good number of people with whom I can share my thoughts without any fear. Also the other way round, I have few close friends who are comfortable enough in talking it out with me. It feels good to know that someone trusts you so much. A one hour chat or a 5 minute quick exchange of words can just give you a sense of contentment. Many a times chatting with a person you yourself get some quick insights like yes I must do this or simply why didn't I think about this earlier.

   The trickier part of this entire process is when someone shares their concern and needs your opinion.. Uh-oh... Well I think I am not really very good at it. I actually get caught up in things like is it right or wrong; is this good for the concerned person; Am I hurting them by giving a straightforward opinion or actually hurting them by being diplomatic or not giving any opinion. I have once got bashed by my friend for giving diplomatic answers. Again this same person later told me that its actually good that you don't give opinion because I don't want any opinions, I just want you to listen to me without being judgmental. ;-)

   Coming to the next trickier part... What happens when you share your mind with the wrong person. You will be judged; people will make fun of you or your problems may end up in gossip sessions or you will be bombarded with unsolicited advises. Its better to have a filter and share your thoughts only with the people you trust, your go-to people.

   Being able to express your vulnerabilities, no matter in what way, is a blessing. You could express it by talking to someone or any other creative way like writing poetry or stories or any other healthy way. It is an acknowledgement of whatever you are going through and understanding your own state of mind. In today's hectic lifestyle, we unknowingly become careless about our health, specially our mental health. We undermine the importance of our mental health and tend to dismiss vital signs as trivial mood swings, which in turn affect our physical health. The sad part is sometimes we ourselves don't realize that we need help. That is the time when you need a bunch of idiots who will shake you up and ask "What the hell is going on with you". It's better to vent out before you turn into a volcano and spill your lava.. :D

     So people...Talk it out... Write it down... Dance it off... but don't dismiss it just like that... Express without fear.. Let go of yourself. Things will fall in their place in due time.. Till then take care...
Happy venting... :)

P.S. My go-to people... Please don't turn into a Volcano.. I am scared of your lava. Hahaha :D
Please reach out to me in time. Long distance buddies.. I am just a phone call away, (No matter how many times you accuse me of being busy or not having time for you)

At the crossroads of life

Nothing in this world is heartbreaking as it is to see your loved ones breaking down. A person you look up to, someone who is your inspiration, is losing faith. It is something beyond your imagination. You are like, this cannot be true. But you can see it happening. You are clueless about what to do. You want to do anything that is possible so that they feel comforted.

But then can we actually do something in such cases. I guess it's both yes and a no.

Why yes. What is it that we can do. Maybe we could keep reminding that person how good he or she is. Tell them that no matter what, you will always look up to them. Tell them that it is ok to be imperfect. Tell them that beyond their skill set or beyond what the world perceives them to be.. they are a person. At the end of the day that person matters. Nothing else does.

Hard times come to teach us. To burst our bubbles of myth. To make us face the harsh ground realities. To make us aware of our friends and foes. To make us aware of our capabilities. So it is up to us. What we choose to pick decides our fate. We can either choose to rant or complain about life being unfair to us. Or take it as a lesson, move on and start afresh. It is difficult but not impossible.

Coming to the second part. Why no. What is it that we can't do. We are bystanders or spectators to our loved ones. If they are going through something, it is they who know the intensity of their problems or feelings. We aren't supposed to judge them because we are not in their shoes. Hard times turn them into all together different people. It is like you are interacting with someone you don't know. No matter how much you want them to get up and move on. It's they who have to gather that inner strength. Without that strength you can drag them along but that won't be moving on.

You can lend a helping hand but it is they who need to decide to lean forward and hold that helping hand.

Life is a long beautiful journey. Why be stuck at a bad turn and miss out on the beautiful things that wait for us ahead. If you find someone stuck at one such turn, be patient and helpful rather than being judgemental. Be the ray of hope they are looking for.

Water...

  Since the day I have started writing, I have written about a lot many things. But then some of the topics are my favorite or rather I am obsessed with some topics like eyes and night. Today I thought of writing about another element which I really love but never wrote about.. that is water.

  As a child I used to keep playing with the water in the iron bucket, which was supposed to be my bathtub.  As I grew up, school picnics to dams  and falls would be my favorite. There is a pond nearby our house with a small garden. It would be my favorite hangout place. I used to like the vibe of that place. I would go with my friends and sit there for long hours.

  I remember the time when we had been to Corbett. There was a small rivulet at the back of our resort and I had totally gone nuts the moment I saw it. I was like please don't disturb me. I want to sit here whole day with my legs in the water. Though I had been to lot of places since childhood.. it took a while for me to get to a beach. But being to the beach was a lifetime experience for me. Simply mesmerizing.

  I don't know.. but I was never scared of waters. Even when I didn't know swimming, I would go close enough to the water and sit there with my legs in or just simply sit at the banks and watch the waters for hours together. It is just captivating.

  The thing about water that amazes me is that it embodies so many virtues. Chemically it's the same everywhere... But it's nature is different at every place. The calm waters teach tranquility. The river teaches to flow that is keep on moving whereas the sea teaches to accept what you get. The waves teach you to strive again and again, no matter how many times life wipes out your efforts. On the contrary, when these waters are disturbed they could turn furious and unleash their wrath and wipe the very existence of mankind.

  I guess I am going to get to know more about it's virtues as time passes by. But one thing I am sure of is that I will always be in awe of water places no matter how old I am.

P.S. You guys may be wondering how can a post about water be complete without the mention of rain. Well I intentionally kept it out as the rain itself is a phenomenal thing and would need an entire post. Hopefully would write about it some day.

Closed eyes

Ever wondered if closed eyes signify anything... Yes they do. We usually have a tendency to close our eyes in a lot of varied circumstances. Fear, passion, fatigue or while trying to remember something. People say that some finest of feelings are best experienced with eyes closed. But why...

When we close our eyes it's absolute darkness, but then darkness is scary. So how can closing eyes be a relief or be good. May be the darkness is more comforting than the reality we see with open eyes, like in the case of fear. The other times we close eyes to get rid of the distracting surroundings which helps to focus on what we feel within; to dig deeper into our minds.

It's some what similar to shutting the doors of your room, when you just want to be with yourself. Closing eyes is like avoiding any trespassers to your mind which may ruin the moment.

But then some stories of closed eyes are really comic. A friend of mine has a weird habit. Whenever she is agitated, she starts muttering with closed eyes. We had really fun teasing her. Asking her to talk with open eyes. But poor girl.. she couldn't.

Then comes hubby dear. He comes home after a long tiring day and just wants to doze off. But I keep bugging him with my chitchat. So there he would be.. all sleepy and talking to me with closed eyes. Feels like he is blabbering in sleep but in actual he would be awake. It is a one funny scene coz I have never seen anyone chatting so long with their eyes closed.

Small things..

A touch is not just a form of expression but it is also an assurance that someone is around you. You can rely on that someone. It makes one feel that they are not alone. Someone has there back. It gives the person an energy and the much needed drive which helps you face the crazy world. When you return home from work you feel so drained. But the mere sight of someone waiting for you eagerly makes you feel charged up. A pat on the back from your father, your mom's caress, your sibling's teasing face, your spouse's hand in yours, a sweet embrace from your little one. Just do not underestimate the power of these little things. So unleash the power within. The power is yours.